I Won't Forget

This has been a long weekend for this little Holyoak Family.
We are sad but know that God has a plan for Us and that he knows the End Before the Beginning.


Words cannot express the Love that I have felt from everyone around me.
I will Not Forget my sweet husbands gentle words to me when I told him and how he just wanted to protect me from it all. 
I will Not Forget telling my sweet kids and how they hugged me and said over and over "I'm so sorry Mom - Are you Ok Momma?" 
I will Not Forget my little Zander-man crying for at least an hour straight.  "How will I know what my sister looks like?" (it must have been a girl) Why does Our Heavenly Father have to have our baby that isn't even "0" years old?   I need some milk to drink Dad because babies love milk and I can remember her this way." Then he cried into his milk for 10 minutes - the saddest most sincere tears.
I will Not Forget My Sweet Dad when I told him - he was at the doctors office with my Mom who is very sick right now and he was tender and kind and comforting like he always is and then he said something so true to his self,  " I won't tell your Mom quite yet because she's just not well enough to hear this."  He really looks out for her and it's sweet. 
I won't Forget My Mom calling us back when she heard the news and what she said to Jared " Everything is just peanuts compared"  what she meant is that this Trigeminal Neuralgia (only the most physically painful thing one can suffer from)  just seemed like peanuts to her when she heard the news.  OHH Mom!  I love you!
I won't Forget my sweet friend Mitzi showing up at my door with the most beautiful bouquet of flowers that I would have picked if I had seen them and the way she just looked at me and cried .  I knew without her saying so that she loves me and she was so sorry.  Mourn with those that Mourn -one of Mitz's gifts for sure. 
I won't Forget how just 2 minutes after Mitzi showed up my good friend Patty showed up with treats and everything the bishop had asked us to do for Young Womens already done. 
I won't Forget how my sweet Young Women showed up with a card and and Poinsettia for me - oh how I adore those girls .
I won't Forget how at least 12 people asked me if they could bring me dinner or take my kids.
I won't Forget my sweet sister Shelly calling to see if she could pick me up anything at the store and then instead taking me along with her for some hugs and chatting.   Anytime I get with her is extra special. 
I won't Forget my sister Em not even being able to talk through her tears when I called her.  She's never had a baby but she understood .
I won't Forget any of my sisters words to me and how they said they were sorry and they loved me and that was enough.
I won't Forget  my sister Wendy calling me and saying she understood what I was going through and that what happened to me was exactly the same thing that happened to her -we both lost a baby.  She didn't try to make her losing a baby that was completely full term seem anymore hard than me loosing my little 9 week old baby. 
I won't Forget those 70 plus Facebook messages from friends near and far.
I won't Forget Molly doing what Molly does best and just swooping in taking my kids to her house for the whole day - without ever making me feel like it could be any other way.  It was her idea and she was more than happy to do it. 
I won't Forget the staff at the hospital from Nurses to Anesthesiologist who were so respectful and honestly very sincere with their words today. 

Mostly I won't forget this sweet baby that is perfect and mine.  Just exactly like my other 4 blessings from my Father In Heaven.
Love to you all.
Jen