We Believe.......

Dear Son, 

        The other night you called for me to come to your room.  You were crying.  This isn't unusual for you.  You often turn into the wise old soul that must live inside of you when you get in your bed.  I think you must use that quiet time to reflect on your life and your choices and things of importance.  I'm grateful that you always call for me.  That night I came in and like I always have I knelt down by your bed and said ,"Why are you crying my boy?"   "Oh Mom,  I'm just worried about when I grow up, what if I don't have a testimony any more and I don't make it to the Celestial Kingdom to live with you forever?"    I asked you if you had a testimony now -  I already knew you did but I asked anyway.  You said you did and then I  told  you to just take it one day at a time and try every day to add to that testimony of your Savior and Father in Heaven.  I told you that you could do that by praying,  reading the scriptures,  listening in church and family Home Evening.   You didn't seem to be letting up with the tears and then you said the most precious thing,  "Mom, I'm just going to follow in your footsteps and then I KNOW that I will make it to the Celestial Kingdom."     WOW!  ,  this parent thing is awfully weighty.  I promise to do my very best Son - to lead you home to your Father in Heaven but you promise me to always work on your own testimony so that if I ever  make a mistake I can follow you.

Have any of you been to temple square and to the Conference Center and seen this Bronze figurine of the First Vision?  When I went to Youth Conference a couple of years ago I saw it for the first time.  I'll never forget the feeling I had when I saw it.  I've had a testimony of my Savior and Father in Heaven and the First Vision for that matter for as long as I can remember.   It has grown over the years but that day it grew - in fact I would say that it doubled in size.  I remember the tour guide showing us this statue and then he turned it around - it was on a base that swiveled.  He ran his hand across the back of the figure over God's arm which was lovingly around his Son.  I remember gasping -  my friend Jimmy Edwards actually turned around to look at me because it was so loud.  I saw tears in Jimmy's eyes and I knew that he was thinking what I was thinking.   "We BELIEVE in God the Eternal Father and in His Son Jesus Christ."   The spirit spoke to me that day and I knew that God my Father loves his Son Jesus Christ and he loves me because I too am his child.   Son, you will learn things little by little , line upon line, precept upon precept and I know that You Will Guide others back to Our Father in Heaven one day when you serve a mission and when you Have children of your own.  I hope you never forget that I have testimony and I know that WE Belong to the TRUE church,  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.   I love you my boy -  I'll always love you!

Momma
xoxoxo

My Dreams of Settling the Wild West

I told Jared that he absolutely had to write down some of the stories from growing up on the farm.  When he tells stories to our kids at night its not "Click, Click, Moo" - it's the real stories from the farm.  They are from his perspective as a little boy who was very creative and imaginative and clearly darling.  Our children will cherish these stories forever, as will I.  Here is just a sampling but probably my favorite one.  I love you Jared Holyoak - so grateful that are kids have such an amazing Dad! xoxo

My Zander-man

My little Zander-man often has nighttime confessions .  He tells me about things he's done that he is sad he chose to do.  Some of them make me laugh a little on the inside of course.  He is always very sad and sincere about them no matter the severity .  Tonight he came out and said that he had been asked Heavenly Father to forgive him and he didn't feel like he has.  We talked for awhile about what it feels like to be forgiven and then he went off to his room.  I went to check on him and to make sure he wasn't crying anymore - he had just gotten done saying another prayer and was crying again.  He told me that he was crying tears of joy because he knew Heavenly Father did forgiven him.   I am always amazed at how close to God my children are at such a young age and how they really get this thing called life. They understand things that I didn't understand until I was an adult.  I often wonder what might lie ahead of them and why they came into this world with such strong desires to do what is right.  I pray that their daddy and I can help direct their paths along the same road they have already clearly chosen.  I sure love them.